Why You Yell At Your Kids And How to Break the Cycle

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If you have been yelling a lot recently at your kid, then its time you started dealing with things a bit more maturely. We understand that the little ones might sometimes get to your nerves and an occasional scolding can solve the job for you. But if yelling is becoming a regular habit, then you seriously need to tone things down.

Reasons Behind Yelling

#1 Over exhaustion triggered by inadequate sleep might be the biggest reason behind yelling. It can cause you to feel low and not adequately confident about your lifestyle. People often try to be perfect parents which in turn imposes a lot of pressure on them causing temper loss.

#2 Multi-tasking can easily drain you out of energy and make it difficult to take rational decisions when the time comes. This can cause you to yell at even the smallest of mistakes committed by your child.

#3 Single-parenting is highly in vogue now. But it is not as easy as it sounds. Managing both home and work can get to your nerves and make you yell out at your little ones. It is actually a means of venting out frustration of the shortcomings of your life.

#4 Every parent wants his or her child to be an absolute best in all fields. But this is a utopian reality. We are all born with specific talents which can be honed with practice and persistence. But it is wrong to expect our children to be ‘Jack of all trades’.

#5 Parents fail to understand this very basic thing. They often yell at their children if their progress results are not satisfactory or if they tend to ignore the parents for long.

#6 Society often imposes a lot of things on parents and weigh them down with the obligation of following the same. This creates more problems in their otherwise contented life. Parents face the constant dilemma of allowing children to express themselves and also imposing restrictions on them.

While bossy behaviour might stand out as traits of leadership quality, it can also hurt and harm other children. These often end up confusing parents who have the best interests of their children in mind.

#7 Work requirements often cause parents to skip self-care. But this leads to bigger problems as our bodies cannot handle stress for long spans of time. Well, short adrenaline bursts are actually good.

But if the same thing starts happening round the clock, then your pressure might increase. This can adversely impact your behaviour causing you to yell at your kids.

Now that we have identified the reasons behind yelling, let us take a look at the possible solutions which can help us overcome the same.

  • Primarily, you need to identify the triggers which cause the outburst. It can either be in response to a particular behaviour or even your own health. Once you determine the source, you can avoid yelling at your children for the same.
  • Prior to yelling at the children, you need to give them a warning. In this way, your children can rectify their mistake while you get to tone down a little and deal with things more maturely. 
  • Taking a time out by going to the washroom can help you flush out your anger without misbehaving with the kids. This is a popular calm down strategy which is recommended by child development specialists around the globe.

Alternatively, you can take the help of squishy stress buster balls or even let your spouse handle the same for the time being.

  • Modern day parents can often be seen sitting down with their children and preparing a ‘Yes List.’ This refers to the general dos and don’ts around the house and can be taped on the fridge for ready reference.

A Yes List makes it easy for children to abide by rules. They will now have a clear understanding of the misdeeds which can otherwise land them in trouble. 

  • If your child is doing something wrong and you wish to teach him a lesson, then you should wait until you resume your composure. Shouting at children will only cause them to shut down completely rather than listening to your advices.

If you want to deliver a strong message, then wait until you calm down. Next you can explain the behavior expectations as well as consequences to the little ones.

Final Words

Once you have a clear understanding of the reasons behind yelling, you can easily control yourself and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Every family is different. Something which worked for your friend might not work in your favor. So, try out all the solutions listed above and you are bound to find the cure very soon.


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