A relationship where both partners love each other should be simple; no one or nothing should be able to damage their relationship. Any major problems or unhealthy arguments should be tackled and fixed as soon as possible. Unfortunately, unlike fairy tales, we don’t all end up with a ‘knight in the shining armour.’
Not all of us end up with a healthy loving partner. Sometimes life takes some dark turns and we end up with a manipulative partner – which is why it is important for you to recognize their true toxic nature.
If a partner in any relationship feels the need to manipulate and mentally abusive the other, it is very twisted and irreparable. It can get quite difficult and heartbreaking for some of you out there to admit that your partner may be exhibiting emotionally abusive behaviour – you truly love your partner, so it’s likely that you would want to disregard or ignore his or her bad behaviour and just carry your relationship dealing with the mental abuse.
Being in a toxic relationship where your partner mentally or emotionally abuses you, is immensely disastrous to your welfare. And for that reason, it is critical to spot any toxic behaviour expressed by your partner in order to get the chance to get out of a relationship where your partner brings you down your spirits rather than lift it up as a caring partner should.
What constitutes as emotional/mental abuse? It is anything that will cause you to put yourself down repeatedly, make you deeply concern about your self-worth and instigate insecurity or instability in a relationship. This emotional abuse begins when a partner tries to gain dominance over the other using manipulative methods. In most cases, the victim considers this mental abuse as “normal” in the relationship with the toxic partner. Recognizing the signs of a mentally abusive relationship is no easy task. It is trickier to figure out as emotional abuse cannot be physically witnessed or experienced, unlike physical abuse which is based on physical actions.
When you commit to your partner, there are some obvious tasks that you both need to undertake for the relationship to be successful. To be happy in your relationship, you need to have complete faith in your partner and be honest with them.
Another “task” in your relationship is to respect your partner so that he or she respects you back too. Many a time, some of you mistake this respect which in reality turns out to be manipulation by your partner. Never agree to continue a relationship that is based on manipulation; always know that there is someone out there for you who will not treat you the way your current partner is choosing to.
If you find yourself in a situation where your partner emotionally abuses you, choose not to tolerate it. Don’t let your partner blind you with the promises of love or change in order to make you stay. If you let him/her sidetrack you everytime you choose to leave, you further become their victim.
It is important that you never let such a toxic person crush your dignity. Be smart enough to identify such manipulation in your relationship. Here are 7 things that a toxic partner says in an emotionally abusive relationship. Be aware of these red flags and remember that you don’t deserve to feel guilt-tripped or controlled.
“You’re just being insecure”
A toxic partner will always try to make you take the blame and thus, instil a sensation of insecurity in your relationship. A right minded partner will not have the need to feed off of your fear or anxiety. But as you may know, toxic people aren’t exactly honourable. By saying this, your partner breaches your respect. What is ironical is the fact that though they may claim you to be insecure; in reality, he/she is the insecure one. Your partner projects his or her insecurities on you by saying such toxic statements.
“You’re being too emotional”
A relationship should be a safe place where you can openly express how you feel. No matter how trivial the situation may be, if it’s upsetting you, you have the right to share your feelings with your partner. But toxic partners are people who cannot deal with the fact that they caused you to feel upset. And instead of trying to fix it, they will blame you and your “over-emotional” needs.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about”
No partner likes to be told by their loved one that what they are saying is invalid. Statements like this give off a vibe of intellectual supremacy that you many of us find despicable. These words end up embarrassing and hurting you deeply. Most of the time, a toxic partner says such phrases when they try to wriggle out of some trouble.
“I didn’t say that”
Toxic partners are experts in spinning a web of lies. They have a habit of saying one thing in an argument or fight and will say otherwise when you late call them out on it. They will swear that they never said that or that you heard it wrong since you weren’t listening. It’s all about control. They will make you question yourself and make you wonder if they were right.
“I can’t do anything right”
Toxic partners always try to play the victim so that you feel sorry for them and let the fight or argument slip away. You end up apologizing for starting the argument and being the unreasonable one. When a toxic partner knows that they have done something wrong, they will immediately play the sympathy card. And you end up always falling for it.
“You are (enter insult here)”
It should be no surprise that toxic people are narcissistic in nature. When all their manipulative techniques fail, the will verbally abuse you. This is usually in moments of desperation where their ugly nature is about to reveal itself. The three abusive phrases that toxic partners use are: “You are stupid,” “You are a loser” and “You are worthless.” If you hear these wounding words, ignore them and walk away.
“I can’t be in a relationship with someone who ___”
Most of the time, when a toxic partner uses these words, he/she means it as a threat or an ultimatum. He or she tries to forcefully change you by threatening to break up if you fail to do so. It’s his/her way of making you assume that everything wrong in the relationship is due to you and so, only you need to change your behaviour. But remember that this has nothing to do with you. It’s their way of projecting their own deficiencies onto you.